a captivating woman honors her future husband (before she meets him)

This is a post I wrote one year ago and never posted on my blog! I re-read it this morning and realized how relevant and important it is for all you women to grasp. I hope the Lord blesses you with these words.

“This is a vulnerable topic that has honestly been on my mind for quite some time now. I said from the beginning that I wanted “captivating” to be a place where women can come and feel encouraged in their walk with The Lord, no matter where they are on that walk. I never want this blog to be a place of condemnation, legalism, or judgment. I want women (and men) to come to this blog and breathe in a sigh of relief. I want this to be a life-giving place, a place to come and unwind. A place to learn and to grow. A place to further your walk with Jesus, or maybe even meet Him for the first time.

With that being said, I believe the Lord puts particular burdens on our hearts for a reason. I believe He does this because He sovereignly knows that we have a message to give. I believe that He has put this burden on my heart ever since I have been a teenage girl…it simply won’t go away. I have been given the privilege to share my story on this topic to a group of young women only once before, and I pray that I am given many more opportunities in the future.

So, as I promised, this blog is about to get extremely personal and vulnerable. I am okay with that though, there is nothing I would love more than for women to hear this message.

Ladies, you have a choice to start honoring your future husband NOW…even before you meet him. I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that the desire to be married has been written on my heart since as long as I can remember. My parents have modeled a beautiful marriage for me. They have been married 25 years and counting, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that gift. I believe this has probably played into my desire to be married. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a wife and a mother.

The Lord convicted me about two years ago when I started my walk with Jesus. I was always the girl in the relationship. I was always the girl with the boyfriend. I too, have dated guys who I had no intention of marrying. I have dated guys just because in the moment, that was what felt right, or maybe because I was just lonely.

I remember so very clearly the day I decided to do things differently.

“Do you want what you want when you want it? Or do you want who I want for you, when I want them for you?”

That was the question the Lord laid on my heart that day, and I simply could not help myself but to answer back, “Your best, Lord. Your timing.”

Ever since that day, I have decided to do things differently. Has it been easy? By no means whatsoever. If there is one thing that I have learned, it is that following Jesus is not always easy…and in fact, most of the time it can be really hard.

But I know it will be worth it. I just know it.

The truth is, most of us truly desire to be married one day. That is a good desire, written by a good God, for a GOOD purpose. Sadly, we live in a fallen world and a GOOD God-honoring marriage is extremely hard to come by these days. So how do we begin to do things differently?

We honor our future husband and our future marriages even BEFORE we meet that person.

This can look differently for everyone, as no one’s spiritual journey looks the same.

For me, this looks like thinking about him in my daily interactions with men. It means that when I am going on a date, I am keeping in mind that it doesn’t mean that the man I am dating belongs to me. While he is single, He belongs only to God-and he may also belong to a different woman other than me one day. When you begin to see dating this way, it definitely changes the way you relate to men.

For me, honoring my future husband means paying attention to the way I dress, speak, and act towards men in my daily interactions as well. It means dressing modestly (still cute obviously), and paying attention to the way I am speaking-watching my language and the way I am presenting myself.

For me, honoring my future husband means being a prayer warrior for him. Praying daily for his heart. Praying for his protection. Praying that he resists temptation. Praying that he is waiting and praying for me too.

For me, honoring my future husband means saving myself for marriage physically, yes. But “saving yourself” goes so much deeper than that. It means saving your whole heart for the man you will one day marry-never fully giving away your heart until you know that he is the one you are meant to spend your life with. It means guarding the deepest parts of your soul, and not letting just anyone see what is behind those precious doors.

Honoring my future husband means trying my very best not to let my emotions get out of control. This is very hard to do. I am learning and growing in this each and every day. With the Lord’s help, I am learning to bring my emotions under the control of the Holy Spirit. I am learning to cultivate a spirit of self-control and gentleness. I am learning to stand on the Rock rather than allowing my emotions to govern my life. This seemed impossible to me a few years ago, but with Jesus, nothing is impossible.

Most importantly, honoring my future husband means putting Christ first and foremost in my life. I have learned through many painful dating and relationship problems and failures that people will come and go in my life. There are people who I want desperately to stay in my life that just won’t stay. There are people who I love and love and love, only to have them walk out in return. There are simply no guarantees in this life.

Except for one guarantee.

ONE THING, remains.

Jesus will never give up on me. Jesus will never wake up one day and decide He doesn’t want to love me anymore. Jesus will never change His mind about me. Jesus won’t find someone else to love more than me. Jesus is my constant, and He will always come first.

Putting Jesus first is the greatest gift I can give my future husband while I am still waiting on God’s timing to bring us together. Putting Jesus first means that I am getting my worth from Him alone and that is an amazing gift to my future husband. I will never have to put the burden of getting my worth from him, because I am putting the hard work in now-getting my worth from Jesus alone.”

Put Jesus first today, dear one. I know. I know how hard waiting can be. But I also know that I am not the same person I was one year ago when I wrote this post. My relationship status may have changed. I am not longer single. However, I am also not married yet. There are still parts to this post that very much apply to me even now. The Lord used my singleness in a POWERFUL way. I grew so much and learned SO much. Most importantly, I learned how to gain my worth from Jesus and never from a man.

Let this word sink deep into your heart today from someone who has been there.

You are infinitely and jealously loved by LOVE HIMSELF.

In Christ,

Amanda Marie

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