If you’re here, I am really sorry. I mean it, I am.
Society is sometimes harsh to single ladies. And what is even worse, the Christian culture sometimes is even worse on singles. It often seems contradictory, the way they simultaneously talk about being “fulfilled by Jesus alone” yet hold countless marriage workshops and endless sermons on dating and finding “the one.”
What’s worse is that if you’re over the age of like 25 and are Christian and unmarried, you are seen as strange or “something is wrong with you.”
I’m here to just encourage you, you aren’t weird. Something IS NOT wrong with you. And it is more than okay to be single.
It is actually an amazing GIFT.
I know what you’re thinking…”Yeah, Amanda that is easy for you to say…you HAVE a boyfriend.”
And I know, it may seem hypocritical coming from me. Just hear me out.
I spent most of teenage and young adult life jumping from relationship to relationship. I was always desperately hoping that one of these “boys” would finally fulfill me and make me happy. I was empty, and searching and searching for someone to fill me up. It was an exhausting search. I found myself heartbroken over and over again. I wanted to just give up hope.
It was at the end of my dating rope that Jesus found me and spoke tenderly over my beaten and bruised heart.
“Please, let me fill you.”
I remember the exact place. The exact time of day.
I was sitting on the patio of a Starbucks, writing in my prayer journal. Desperate for answers about a current relationship I was in. I knew it wasn’t the right thing for me to be with him. He said he was a Christian, but it was the same toxic roller coaster of emotions. One day, he wanted to be with me, and the next, he wanted to be with someone else. I was so exhausted. i just wanted some peace and some rest.
I wrote in my journal these sweet words, “I surrender, Jesus. I want your best for me.”
In that moment, I felt the sweetest release I have ever felt. I felt so much peace. It felt like Jesus literally stepped back into time in that moment and wrapped His arms around me.
The very next day, that guy broke up with me for good. The roller coaster was over. I was finally at peace.
I spent the next few months just intentionally loving Jesus. I dove into community and I dove into God’s own heart. I read books on what it meant to be single. I also read books on Christian marriage and dating and what it really should look like. I began filling a journal of heartfelt prayers to my future husband. And I waited. I just waited for God’s timing, for the first time TRULY trusting Him with my dating life. I knew He would redirect my heart to the right one at the right time.
And He did. He is faithful. I am reminded of His faithfulness each and every single time I look at my current boyfriend, Maverick.
We are not perfect, by any means. We still have our struggles and our ups and our downs. But God so divinely and sovereignly intersected our lives together at just the right moment.
I tell you this, friend to encourage you. I don’t tell you this to brag to you about my boyfriend on #nationalboyfriendday…I mean seriously what even is that?
I don’t tell you this to be another Christian girl who rubs her “perfect Christian relationship” in your face.
I tell you this because I see way too many hurting hearts out there. I see way too many AMAZING daughters of the King trading in their crowns for “boys” who will never lead them spiritually, will never treat them how they should be treated, will NEVER treasure and respect their purity…
BOYS who will never kiss away their tears, bur rather, they cause them.
BOYS who will never embrace them and pray boldly and powerfully over them, but rather, make fun of their faith.
BOYS who would rather ask them to come “watch netflix” than take them on a proper date.
BOYS who will never spin them around and around to old music on the kitchen floor late at night, but rather, will “spin” them around emotionally…leaving them always questioning if they are loved and respected.
The list goes on and on.
I so long for each daughter of the King to know her true worth. I so long for each precious daughter to be cherished by the man of her dreams.
So I am writing this to you to ENCOURAGE you today, sister.
There are WONDERFUL godly men out there just praying and waiting for a beautiful woman like you to come into their lives.
But, you will never find them if you keep settling for less than God’s best for you.
So today, if your heart is feeling burdened, empty, saddened, jealous as you are scrolling through the seemingly endless instagram posts today…
Just know there is only ONE heart deserving of all your love and trust while you are in the waiting season, and it’s Jesus’.
And know that being completely satisfied and fulfilled in Him is the BEST thing you can ever bring to your future spouse one day.
You are worthy.
Please let that truth sink deep into your bones today.
A girl who KNOWS.